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To Tuesday Magazine

A Fab Haunting

A frightening story by our star reporter who was visited by the ghost of a former Beatle.

"Dead people seem to like me."

On my recent London vacation, I saw the ghostly figure of a former Beatle.

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I was sitting in one of the colorful and touristy English pubs when he walked right up to the bar next to me and said, "What's a lovely bird like you doing in a colorful and touristy London pub like this?"

His skin was peeling, his hair was falling out, and the smell was terrible. His clothes were old and worn.

"My name is Ringo Starr and I've got a hole in me pocket."

Even after death, his boyish charm could make a girl smile. But I have some standards; any guy that wants to be with me must at least have a pulse.

"We can do it in the road."

That guy is really grabby and it was obvious that he had been dead for many years. Even Michael Jackson looked better than this.

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Of all the dead people who I have met, he was the most obnoxious. I had no interest in dating, but that seemed to be the only thought in his decaying head.

He wanted sex!

I got really tired of him. Later, when I contacted the estate of the late drummer, all I got was a "No comment." from their spokesman, a Mr. Starkey.

Watch for the shocking story.

The Tragedy of Kettle Balls

Kettle balls are affecting the lives of more and more of our young people. Don't let them suffer the shame all alone.