August 2014

To Tuesday Magazine

Night of the Podcast

There is a growing evil around us. Some of my closest friends have suffered an alien identity theft. I have known fear before, but it was not until very recently that it has come to engulf me. We must stop it! They are coming!

My friend Susan was fine until a few months ago. That was when she downloaded the podcast. It was then that she started to change. She used to be unassuming and innocent. She would laugh at herself as much as anyone. Then, the podcast started taking over.

"You're next!"

Night of the Podcast

After listening to it, she became self-centered and conceited. She said things that she thought were cleaver and witty. She thought she knew more than everyone else. She had no emotion any longer, just pretense. Her humanity had been drained away.

"They are coming!"

She joined groups who listened to the podcasts in their homes, too. They joined smug Internet chat groups to agree with one another. She drank tea. Her body was a host for alien thoughts and inhuman feelings.

Susan is not the only one. It is spreading. They try to push the podcasts on their friends, and they try to push them on me. I am on to them and I will fight to prevent citizens from having their minds taken over like my friend Susan. We all need to fight to stay human. They are after all of us! They are here! You're next! You're next!

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